busyness ... pt.1 (probably... maybe)
“How can I lead people into the quiet place beside the still waters if I am in perpetual motion?” - Eugene Peterson
Somewhere along the line, I was taught that it is good to be “busy”. Being busy comes off as being “important” or “impressive”. A calendar that looks empty impresses no one; a calendar that is packed impresses everyone. Looking back on my own life, it’s obvious now that my busyness wasn’t faithfulness, but it was a vanity driven by a spirit of insecurity and shame.
As a pastor, most of my ministry career was the quest to be busy. Busy because I’m doing God’s work. Busy because I need to earn my keep and prove my worth. Busy because, well, every other staff member is busy, so I'd better get on it; heck, I should be busy because not to be would be a waste of the offerings that supply my salary.
Busyness was such a central part of my church that one would have assumed that it was commanded in Leviticus, or tucked somewhere into the Sermon on the Mount.
Take my kids out to play? Nope, need to provide child-care for the adult service.
Sit and hear what is going on in my wife’s life? Sorry, need to go, counsel a couple.
Go on vacation with my family? No can do, need to go on a vision quest for the church.
Spend time steeped in prayer? I can’t, I need to go lead the prayer night for Lent. Next time, I should just wake up at 5 am to do that nonsense instead of neglecting the congregation.
As far as I knew, a pastor who is too busy for their kids, their spouse, their prayer life, and their rest was a good pastor. This is a pastor who is working hard for the church, a model Christian citizen. Applauded publicly, pitied privately. Admired from a distance. Miserable up close.
So it may come as a surprise that if you ever open the Bible and read about the life of Jesus, He doesn’t seem like someone who was ever rushed or in a hurry. “Busy” is not how anyone would describe Jesus. So how come those who work for Him are so busy? If the goal of the Christian life is “Christ-likeness”, why are all of His followers so hurried all the time?
Maybe it is because in the stillness, we might finally have to face what’s actually driving us and what’s really there…